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The Marriage
Ceremony of
XXX
and
YYY
February 1, 2003 |
Part-1
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Marriage:
An Introduction
Symbolizing a holy union, the marriage ceremony marks the beginning of the young
couple’s family life. Family life is a means for spiritual growth. It serves as
a training ground for man and woman to practice divine love through human love,
patience, consideration of others, forgiveness, respect, kindness, and self
control. These spiritual qualities, when developed, contribute towards a happy
marriage and accelerate spiritual progress.
The spiritual aspect helps couples recognize that marriage is a permanent
lifetime relationship. The bride and groom vow to love each other, to have a
family, and to fulfill all of their dharmas (duties and obligations) pertaining
to the family and to society. The marriage ceremony is solemnized somewhat
differently in the Hindu and Sikh religions. In Sikhism the bride and groom take
their wedding vows in front of the Guru Granth, the eternal Guru of the
Sikh religion.
In Hinduism the ceremony takes place in the presence of Agni, the Vedic
God of Fire. The couple goes around the Guru Granth and Agni
to legitimate their ties on earth and in heaven.
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Marriage Ceremony
Barat
(Groom’s Party)
The groom’s
party arrives; family and friends celebrate this joyous occasion by dancing in a
procession to the mandir (temple).
Milni
(Greeting the Party)
The bride’s
family greets and welcomes the groom’s family. They embrace and exchange
garlands. The bride’s family greets relatives and guests by offerings of flowers
and fragrant water, sprinkled to demonstrate love and affection.
Jaimala
(Exchange of Garlands)
The bride and
groom exchange garlands sym-bolizing their willingness to accept each other.
AnandKaraj
(The Sikh Marriage)
Sangat
(Congregation) |
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The Sikh ceremony begins as the bride, the groom, relatives, and friends bow
before the Guru Granth and congregate in His midst.
Ardas
(Prayer)
and
Wedding Sermon
The couple and
their parents stand up and an Ardas is offered seeking God’s blessings.
TheGranthi, the person in charge of the ceremony, addresses the couple and
explains the duties of their new life. The groom is to vow fidelity to the wife,
while the bride is to vow fidelity to her husband. The husband protects the life
and honor of his wife, and in turn she remains con-tent with the lot of her
husband. The Guru
is an eternal witness to their vows. The couple signi-fies their consent by
bowing before the Guru Granth.
Lavan
(Wedding Hymns)
The groom’s
scarf is placed in the hands of the bride. The Granthi then reads the lavan,
four nuptial stanzas accompanied by musical instru-ments. At the end of reading
each lavan, the groom followed by the bride walks around the Guru Granth
in a clockwise direction while ragis (singers) sing the hymn. During the fourth
round, the couple is showered with rose petals by the entire congregation as a
sign of rejoicing. Following the lavan, the Anand Sahib (concluding hymns
of the Sikh ceremony) is read and Ardas is offered again, with the entire
congregation standing up this time. Finally,
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hukam (the divine command) is received from the Guru Granth by opening it
at random, and karahprashad (the sweet sacrament) is served to the entire
congregation. The bride and the groom are now husband and wife.
The four nuptial stanzas explain in detail the development stages of love
between husband and wife and an individual and God.
In the first stage, the Guru urges to perform duties to the family and
the community and practice simran (meditating upon God’s name). Simran washes
away past sins and bring stability to mind.
In the second stage, egotism and all fears vanish and one can recognize God’s
presence in everyone and everything.
In the third stage, one begins to feel Bairaag, an intense longing for a
complete union with the Beloved.
The final stage is Harmony, reached by one whose mind, through simran, has
gained stability and for whom remembrance of the Lord has become the sweetest of
all pleasures. The stage of harmony is of complete oneness. The bride and the
groom feel and think alike and both completely identify with each other; they
become one soul in two bodies.
The four wedding hymns are described below. Proceeding forth to
the first nuptial stanza:
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The Lord
presents before you his instruction for the daily duties of marital life: |
Part-3
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You are to recite the hymns of the Guru, And be constant in the
performance of your duty. Thus the errors of the past shall be washed away. Be
confirmed in righteousness and Repeat the Lord’s name. The practice of the Name
has been urged in the Smrids as well.
Reflect upon the True Guru, who is ever perfect, And all your sins and
errors will leave you.By the greatest good fortune the mind is filled with bliss
and thoughts of the Lord are soothing to the mind. Slave Nanak proclaims that in
this first round. The marriage ceremony has begun.
Comes the second nuptial round:
And the Lord has made you to meet the True Guru.
With your heart bound by the fear of the Fearless God. All sense of pride has
been washed from the mind. Knowing the fear of God and singing His praise, You
behold His presence before you. God, the Lord Master, is the soul of the
creation; He pervades everywhere and fills all places with His Being.
Know then that there is One God, within us and without. And His songs of
rejoicing are heard in the company of His servants. Nanak proclaims, that in
this second nuptial round, the Divine music is heard.
In the
third round:
The praises of the Lord fill my mind. By the greatest good
fortune you have come to meet the Lord God in the company of the holy. |
Singing His praises and speaking the Divine Word, the Immaculate Lord is found.
It is by very great fortune that the pious attain to the Lord and tell that
story which can never be told.
The music of God resounds within and we contemplate the Lord God:
For we have been blessed with a great destiny written upon our foreheads.
Slave Nanak proclaims that in this third round, the love of God has been
awakened in the heart.
In this fourth round:
The mind grasps the knowledge of the Divine, And God
is realized within. By the Guru’s Grace, we have reached the Lord with ease; our
bodies and our souls are filled With the tender delight of the Beloved.
I am a sacrifice unto my Lord. God seems sweet to me and I have become pleasing
to my Master. He fills my thoughts all night and day. I have obtained the object
of my heart’s desire - my Lord.
By praising His name I have gained the highest praise. The Lord Himself becomes
one with His holy bride, while the heart of the bride blooms and flowers with
His Holy Name. |
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Slave Nanak proclaims, that in the fourth round we have found the Eternal Lord.
The Hindu
Wedding
Ganesh Pooja
(Worship of LordGanesh)
Lord Ganesh
(the Hindu God) is the removerof all obstacles. He is worshipped to ensure an
impediment free ceremony. The worship is also performed to invoke God’s
blessings for the longevity of the couple.
Kanya Daan
(Giving away the Daughter)
Kanya Daan is
performed by the father who pours a libation of sacred water symbolizing the
giving away of the daughter to the groom. As a condition in offering his
daughter for mar-riage, the father requests a promise from the groom. The groom
promises to assist the bride in attaining: Dharma (piety), Artha (wealth), and
Kaama (desire). The groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he
will not fail the girl in realizing dharma, artha and kaama.
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Vivaaha Havan
(Starting the nuptial Fire)
A fire is lit,
symbolizing purity and acting as a witness of all ceremonies that follow.
Panigrahanam
(Holding of Hands and
Tying the Knot)
The groom holds
the bride’s right hand, clutching her fingers with his right palm. Then, he
proclaims to his bride,
“May Bhaga (the
giver of wealth who presides over love and marriage), Aryama (the Lord of
Effort), Savita the Sun (the source of all energy), and the Devas (all celestial
beings), the enlightened ones, bestow all enjoyment on us; and may all these
Gods endow us with good children and bless that you may live forever. These Gods
have given you unto me to be the Queen of my family.”
During this ceremony, the ends of three scarves are tied together, an act
preceding their marriage union.
Laja Havan
(Offerings to the Fire) |
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The bride and the groom put parched rice, which is handed to them by the
brothers and cousins of the bride, in the sacred fire and recitea hymn praying
for their prosperity.
Sapta-Padi
(Circling the Fire Seven Times)
The sapta-padi
is the most important ritual of the wedding ceremony. The bride and groom walk
around the nuptial fire seven times, each time making a promise to each other.
The priest recites the following hymns detailing their vows:
With God as a guide, let us take,
the first step
to provide nourishment and pure food for our household,
the second step
to develop our physical, mental and spiritual powers,
the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and diligence,
the fourth step
to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust,
the fifth step
so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children,
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the sixth step
for self restraint and longevity,
the seventh step
to become true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.
Having taken these steps together, I assure you that I will not swerve from the
path of my love and friend-ship with you. So should you also not swerve. Let our
thoughts, decisions, and actions be one and in unison. Let us be kind, loving,
considerate, good and open-hearted to each other. Let us share our food,
possessions, strengths, and advantages together. Let us be complementary to each
other as thought and speech are to each other. The sapta-padi ceremony concludes
with a hymn signifying that the union is eternal. The bride and groom are
pronounced man and wife.
Sindhur Dharan
(Placing Red Powder
on the Bride’s Head)
In this
ceremony, the groom places sindhur (red powder) on the crown of the bride’s
head. The sindhur is indicative of a blood union, and it is the unmistakable
mark of a married woman. |
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Akshataaropana
(Blessing the Couple)
The priest
distributes sacred rice to the congre-gation. On a signal from the priest, the
married couple is showered with the sacred rice. This ritual signifies that the
congregation, who are the divine angels, have witnessed the wedding and bestowed
their blessings on the newlyweds for longevity and prosperity.
Doli
(Farewell to the Daughter from her Family)
The bride’s
family says farewell to their daughter. The bride sits in the Palki as her
brothers and cousins physically carry her outdoors. This is a tearful moment as
it symbolizes that the bride is leaving her parents’ home for good. (This will
take place after the reception).
“Whatever I am any devotee desires to worship with faith - that faith of his 1
make firm and unshakable”. 9V. 21
“I am the same towards all beings. None is hateful, and none is dear to Me. But
those who worship Me with devotion dwell in Me, and I too dwell in them” Ch. 9
V. 29
Srimad Bhagavad Gita
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Part-7
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